relationship advice from the girl who’s never been in a relationship

Dear _____,

You are capable of being independent. You are just fine on your own. You are made whole not according to your relationship status, but according to the words of our Savior:

“Take heart my daughter, for your faith has made you whole.”
Matthew 9:22

You are complete. You are lacking nothing. You are worthy of love and belonging, but you are looking for it in the wrong places.

You don’t have to search for the one and only love that never fails. You don’t have to stalk it on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn [desperate times call for desperate measures] to try and figure out if you have a chance with it. You don’t have to compete for its attention or prove that you’re the best candidate to receive it by doing anything and everything it asks of you. You just get it. You already have it.

First and foremost, you belong to Jesus. He accepts you- all of you- even though you’re stubborn and argumentative and extremely particular and way too emotionally invested in reality TV. He desires your heart even though it is messy and confusing sometimes.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1

You are so significant whether or not you have a significant other. You have been given a purpose that you are capable of fulfilling with or without a partner. You were not made to be someone’s “other half” nor do you need someone to be yours. Your identity in Christ is complete.

It’s not time for you to be seeking an earthly relationship. It’s time for you to be seeking Jesus. It’s time for you to learn to rely on Him for love and joy and fulfillment. It’s time for you to realize that He wouldn’t let you miss out on anything you need.

There is a person out there who will appreciate your stupid humor and tolerate your irrational love for The Bachelor and understand your need to be told that you’re right even when it’s very clear that you’re not. God is working in their heart just like He’s working in yours, and when the time is right He’ll allow your paths to cross.

Until then, love yourself. Love others. Love God. Being single does not decrease your validity or your capability one bit. Be patient. Be secure. Be nothing but grateful.


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